I am a blogger, a unique individual that has internet access and time on his hand. You are not as special as I am.

I am going to blog now. I guess it could be the whole, "It is 1:15 in the morning and I have to be in a training class in 6 hours and I cannot sleep because I am on some medication that has made my sleeping habits, to say the least, bizarre."

I don't know what to type. I do think that this is needed since my doctor, my head doctor, has told me to write down my daily feelings and keep a record to see if my medication is working. I am what they call, bipolar 2. Not quite as crazy as bipolar 1. Funny thing about bipolar disorder...

See people keep telling me that this is a disease, and in my heart of hearts I want to believe it. I have to get over the blame game on this. I don't want to blame this on my behavior in the past, and that keeps me from accepting there is something wrong or broke or wired incorrectly in my head. I have to accept this is not an excuse, but a reason for my behaviors.

See, when you are bipolar...sorry...when you have bipolar disorder there seems to be a stigma attached to it. The stigma starts with the fact that I said when you are bipolar. See, it is bipolar disorder, but yet people say the following, "John is bipolar." If John had say, cancer, one would not say, "John is cancer". That is the first thing that I have to overcome. This is all in my mind. I have told a few people about this and each one is so compassionate about this. I am truly mindf***ing myself.

Enough about that for now, though I am sure that it will bring much content to this...this...this...blog thing.

Just to add on to the bp thing one more time, I also am a recovering alcoholic and addict. YEAH!!! More of that to come as well.

I am going to press the public post now and see how this turns out. I hope someone reads this.