3 years celebrated tonight

3 years and 6 days ago I got sick and tired of being sick and tired. Outside of the program I know no one that has 3 years of sobriety. So many people have helped me through it and I am grateful to them all.

I have much work to still do. I make ammends daily with my actions. My wife and daughter do not have to live with a drunk addict anymore. The addict part I still have problems coming to terms with.

See, that part is hard. I saw my uncles and others that were drunk addicts working the kitchen at waffle house living in their parents basements. That is what addicts did. They go to prison. I had a house, cars and stuff. O fcourse I was always 1 paycheck away from bankruptcy.

I have alot of amends to make. I was a bad son and a horrible brother. It was always about me. This year is the 4th year and many people say that the years follow the steps. Year one you become aware of your powerlessness over the next drink or drug. Year two you find your god of your understanding. Year three you learn to use that god.

I was raised religeously, but I am far from being relegious. I cannot spell religieouus. I am going to stop trying. I am horrible at praying, but I pray for others all the time and not for myself anymore. The thinker in me dismisses the god concept, the eternal optimist embraces it. But someone is looking out for me always...2 things I know about god...he exists...and I am no longer him.

well the 4th year is cleaning up the wreckage of your past. Taking a complete and moral inventory of your actions that got you here and finding the reasons and no thte excuses of why this happened. I am looking forward to this year.

Thank you.

Ever jsut not want to go to bed?

I am sitting here running out of things to do. I have stuff to do tomorrow. I have to go to the doctor. I have to meet an ad rep with the Chronicle. I have to watch the movie 'The Goods' again. I have to get Kennedy on and off the bus and take ashley to and from work because her car is in the shop.

I have to get up in 6 hours.

I think if I went to bed I could sleep, but then I would miss the 3rd rerun of Sportscenter.

I have a new website coming for my company, www.dgmroofing.com but it is not ready yet. Waiting for a ticket from hostgator.

I pick up my 3 year chip on wednesday and that is neat.

I am rambling on while I type.

That is odd.

Don't forget to go to www.fatguysracing.com and check in with us.

Of course since my sister and wife are the only people to read this, I am preaching to the choir.

I am Ian's disgruntled liver

I am Ian's disgruntled liver. This guy put me through hell for years. When I was a healthy young lad he started putting me through the everyday routine of binge drinking. I was young enough to recover and had enough wisdom to know that this was just a phase.

A phase it was not. Years passed by and Ian never quit abusing this employee. I tried to go all postal a few times by giving him incredible hangovers and then the bastard just kept on going.

So now I am disgruntled. I have crazy enzyme levels and I am making him go see the dreaded doctor. I have raised my enzymes and even talked the old brain into kicking his butt by taking on a bad side effect to his medication and elevating his tempature to 105.7 so he would go see a doctor and visit the ER where they would run tests on him. I am even making him go back to run more.

The fat bastard neglected me for years and now I am geting back at him.

I am Ian's disgruntled liver.

Firsts

Stole this from my sister...

Who was your FIRST prom date? Meredeth Mulvey

Do you still talk to your FIRST love? No.

What was your FIRST job? Ben and Jerry’s at the rodeo.

What was your FIRST car? 1974 Triumph Spitfire. I miss it, but only when I forget to remember what a pain in the ass it could be. Just kept her answer. Nothing like breaking down every other week.

Who was the FIRST person to text you today? Tony, my NA friend.

Who is the FIRST person you thought of this morning? Ashley, as she was waking me up.

Who was your FIRST grade teacher? Mrs. Burberick…she taped me to a desk once.

Where did you go on your FIRST ride on an airplane? California.

Who was your FIRST best friend & do you still talk? Tommy Flowers. Nope.

Where was your FIRST sleep over? Tommy’s house

Who was the first person you talked to today? Ashley.

Whose wedding were you in the FIRST time? Bridgett’s. There were swords.

What was the FIRST thing you did this morning? Printed off Mark Hammond’s insurance card because his printer was broke.

What was the FIRST concert you ever went to? U2 Joshua Tree.

FIRST tattoo? Sigma Phi epsilon. Left ankle. 5 tattoos ago.

FIRST piercing? Ears, I was 23. I got permission at 16, but dad ruined for me when he got his.

FIRST foreign country you went to? You boys been to Mexico!!!!

FIRST movie you remember seeing? Star Wars. Empire Strikes Back. Drive in.

When was your FIRST detention? 7th grade. Dad made me walk home from Pearland Junior High.

Who was your FIRST roommate? Andy wiginton.

What was the first sport that you were involved in? Soccer.

What were the first lessons you ever took? Yeah…

What is the first thing you do when you get home? Check the internet.

When was your first kiss 'that you would count'? Jennifer…from the neighborhood…8th grade.

In what grade did you first feel really confident? 9th grade. New start at MCH. Wound up student body president 4 years later.

When did you receive your first "F" in school? Spanish, 7th grade. Made a 28.

First important event / activity from which you were cut? With a knife?

What is your first memorable family vacation? Southern California. Bevin threw up in the staion wagon and we were always reminded everytime we got in that damn car and it was hot.

What was your first drink? 3rd grade. Beer. Danny wibbenmeyer’s graduation party.

What was your first trip to the ER? Broke leg. Should have gone when I broke my head, but dad tied it off.

Where was your first apartment? Stonehaven. Just bad.

Did you marry the FIRST person to ask for your hand in marriage? I guess.

Intervention

I am a big fan of this show. I am watching two brothers that are heroin addicts right now. They smoke heroin, which is odd in itself. It is a Mexican family, which is rare on this show, and they are selling and using large quantities of heroin. The parents are in complete denial.

I often wonder what my parents would have done of if I started the habits I later had in life under their roof. I am pretty sure they would not have had an intervention on tv. They would have had a major incident on their hands and probably pleaded out and served probation instead of jail time.

These were just not options growing up. I think I smoked pot a handful of times in high school, and i drank a bunch. But the drinking was accepted because I was the son. I was popular, not to toot my own horn, and I was in the middle of everything. But I cannot imagine doing coke in my living room growing up or smoking crack in my backyard. Just on a side note, I never smoked crack, that was a dirty drug. Never poked a needle either, because that was what homeless junkies do. It is a double stndard. There are acceptable drugs amongst the people that I rolled with...literally rolled with.

I remember once that my father pulled me into the backyard and told me not to do drugs. That was my drug talk. He thought that since I was coughing in the shower that I was smoking pot. He was concerned that it would affect my football playing that year. He said he had smoked cigarettes for 20 years and did not cough like I did. I guess that is good logic.

I smoked cigarettes from 14 to 30. I drank from 14 to 28. I often wonder the reason behind that. Is it because of peer pressure or because it was okay or if it was becsause my father did it. I don't know. I think that a lot of this addiction is learned behavior that then twists the wires in your head until you are sick.

I have always had the 'addictive personality'. I like to go for fourths at the buffet as a kid. i always wanted seconds at dinner. i was a fat little kid and I am big old adult. You don't weigh in at 280 because you are using proper protions. It was deemed okay that I eat more. It was burned into my head as a youngster that these were okay things to do. I wanted more toys than other people. I wanted more cd's than other people. More rock n roll t shirts. More of this and more of that. I went on a Tommy Hilfiger and Polo thing during high school. I did whatever it took to get the clothes I wanted. I have always had this type of addiction to consumption.

I wonder if the people on intervention are like that. Did these little Mexican brothers do the same thing? what made them cross that line to smoking heroin. Could I have ever gone there? Glad I didn't.

well, let's see if they accept help. I sometimes root for them to fail. Kind of sick thinking. But it reminds me that I can fail at this and it makes me grateful that they did it and I didn't.

So I am sitting here with my wife...

And she is confused over the following subject. That subject is Flogging Molly. If you have never heard Flogging Molly you are just missing out. If you have heard them, then you just understand that this may be the best thing to happen to music since...well at least the best thing to come from Ireland since Whiskey and Potatos. Check them out here.

We came back from the races tonight with a lot of information on the costs of cars and the price of racing them. I watched a 10 year old kid take his super go cart and drive it 50 miles an hour into a concrete wall. The car was gone, but the kid jumped out and walked off. Quite a few wrecks tonight. I will bring the camera next time and will post a lot of pictures. My neighbor's girlfriend took a few pictures of Ashley and I and even one with Ashley in my neighbor's car.

Good night www.

Check out www.fatguysracing.com for all new updates. Merchandise section will be coming soon. T shirts, koozies, stickers, tank tops and hats. We are soul less attention whores.

So I am in Dallas

It has almost been a week sinc emy last post. In that time I have incorporated the Fat Guys Racing team, built a shabby little website, addded a song to that website that you have to have a pop up blocker disabled to listen to, sold some roofs, collected some money, paid some bills, made a B in the last class i will ever take at UH during the summer, had a petition approved to switch classes in order to graduate only to have the class I petitioned to switch to get cancelled by the university, going into freak out mode with one the dean of my school, got the problem fixed with a new petition and guarentee that this time it would not be cancelled, woke up at 3 am this morning and drove to Dallas, went to a State Farm adjuster class and checked into the very nice 4 star Grand Hyatt at DFW airport (Thank you Priceline) and now I am updting this...

Was that a run on sentence?

Fat Guy Racing...

Soon to be fatguyracing.net

Fat Guy Racing is Born

VROOM!!!!

And it just gets better this morning. I found out that it only costs $25 to register a car to race!!!

This is awesome. I also just found Jango...this is the best internet radio that I have ever heard. I am listening to Ned's Atomic Dustbin because they came up within a conversation last night. This thing rocks.

Now I know that some may think that I will not race a car ever, I want to say that you are wrong...dead wrong.

And it just gets better. They pay the winners of this thing...

Pro StocksFEATURE
1st - $350
2nd - $250
3rd - $200
4th - $150
5th - $100
6th - $50
7th - $50
8th - $50
9th - $50
10th - $50
Beyond 10th will also be $50 payout per car for all cars starting the race. There must be a 13 Car Minimum Starting Field for Full Payout. Less than 13 cars starting the race and the purse will be 50% payout per position. No entry fee.

Oh my goodness. I am off to climb a few roofs with high pitches today. I am living the life of a crazy daredevil guy. But not a gay Ben Affleck daredevil kind of guy.

Here are a couple of pics of what the cars look like.

Link.

Link.

Link.

Link.

Link.

So...maybe i have a little of the whitetrash gene ma...

I went out Saturday night to Houston Motorsports Park. My neighbor and one of my roofing customers both race modified track cars out there every other Saturday night. Daniel, the neighbor, has been asking me for sometime to come out and watch. I did. I also brought the wife and child.

I was expecting a couple hundred people there watching some race cars. There was well over 1000 people there watching race cars. I also never expected to just get hooked in one evening.

Midway through my wife looked at me...with hesitation...and asked how long before I was going to be down there. I looked at her and jokingly said never. She pried some more. I said within the year.

I called my business partner and he is in. I talked to a guy I know at a Dodge store, and he is in. I am pretty sure that I can get sponsorship from a few car dealerships. I am going to do this.

When I was drinking I made a list of things I wanted to do before I died. I cannot remember them all, but a few have stuck and I am going to accomplish them. First was graduate from U of H. Almost there, 9 hours to go. I also want to learn a musical instrument. I have 2 sisters that learned how to play music and I have always wanted to. I also want to learn a nother language, and rosetta Stone starts in January. And there is a book I want to write. Maybe. I think my adventures would be fun to read about. Now there is a new line. To become a race car driver. I have no dreams of NASCAR or anything like that. Just Pro Stock circle track racing.

If anyone has about five grand to donate I could start next weekend on my birthday.

This is going to be awesome.

Ian was a racecar driver...drove so goddamn fast...

I want to be a racecar driver. more to come.